Do you have big dreams, but then life just seems to get in the way and you never make any true progress?
Perhaps you want to create a course, promote your brand, or just want to lose weight and get fit, but then you always find yourself ‘ sabotaging’ yourself, or just give up?
The truth is, dreams can be lovely, but also scary! Scary because of the work, the fear of failure, and the fear of being judged.
In this week’s Make It Happen Monday, I’ m sharing with you how to stop this self-sabotaging behavior, and ‘force’ yourself to do whatever it takes to achieve your dreams!
Watch Episode 72 Here
Read Episode 72 Here
Today I want to talk about my T-shirt!
Firstly, I couldn’t get into this t-shirt a few months ago, so I’m really happy about that!
But that’s not todays main subject! The main reason is that I want to point out the wording on the front of it.
“Follow Your Dreams, They Know the Path”– I LOVE this message!
However, it’s not that easy is it.
If it was easy to simply dream it then do it, the world would be an infinitely happier place!
Unfortunately, this is not what occurs.
Why We Self-Sabotage Ourselves
For some reason, we have these wonderful, big dreams, but they seem like an impossible day dream, even a silly fantasy, to the point where we won’t even share them with other people!
Why is that? Why do we have these amazing goals but then stop before we’ve even begun?
Because Our Dreams Our Scary!
Whether we succeed in our dreams or not, it’s scary.
If we’re successful, then it means incredible change in our lives. Do we really want that?
Maybe we’re scared that we will have to work really hard forever if we achieve our goals?
Or perhaps we are scared of failure, and how it would make us feel? Perhaps we fear judgement from others?
We’re all scared of the pain we’re going to have to go through to achieve our goals, even if the end result (and actually the journey) means ultimate happiness!
For example, you want to be slim and fit. We all know it’s a simple case of eating well and exercising regularly. So why don’t we do it?
There’s fear and pain in what we have to go through in order to reach that goal of being slim or fit.
You’re going to have to exercise every day and give up your favorite foods! Painful!
Perhaps, you want to be a top class speaker? But the only route to get there is for you to practice in front of live audiences. Super scary!
Perhaps you want to become a coach, sell video courses, create content, promote yourself or your brand, invest in stock, negotiate deals, create business collaborations etc? All scary, scary, scary!
How Do We Stop Ourselves From Self-Sabotage?
What do we do? What’s the difference between those that are following their dreams, and those who never muster the courage?
Believe it or not, it’s not the thought of ultimate happiness that will drive us the most.
It’s the thought of ultimate pain.
People who follow their dreams are the ones who believe the consequences of NOT following their dreams is far more painful than the pain they will go through to achieve their dreams.
Let me give you an example.
I remember years ago I had a friend called Justin who I used to speak to a lot about how much I hated going to the gym.
He just could not understand my thought process.
To him, the pain of being out of shape, the inability to not be able to jump out of bed and run 5 kilometers, was far greater to him than the pain of actually working out in the first place.
In other words, he had associated pain to NOT achieving his goal when I had associated pain to attempting my goal!
Change The Pain Association And Reach Your Goals
Here’s an exercise you can do today to change your pain associations, right now.
Write down all your big dreams and goals.
Then, be honest with yourself, and write down what about each of those dreams is scary and painful.
What’s stopping you in your tracks from moving to the next stage in that dream? Or what’s stopping you starting on the path to this dream in the first place?
Now, write the OPPOSITE! List what will hurt you if you DON’T work towards this dream or goal.
What will your life look like then? What pain will you feel by not taking action?
Immerse Yourself In This Exercise.
What you’re trying to do here is intensify the pain of NOT following through over the pain of actually doing it.
Remember, happiness isn’t always based on you actually achieving your goals.
It might be just enough for you to take the action towards your goals.
The fact that you’re moving in congruence with your true values and dreams is likely to be enough to create a life of happiness!
Every day, you’ll feel good because you are moving in the right direction, and heading towards your dreams and goals.
If you find you’re unhappy most days, you’re not in the zone, and you’re not feeling good, the likelihood is you’re going in the opposite direction.
So stop right now, take stock of where you are, verbalize that pain by writing it down, and then change your direction…. Today!
Rome wasn’t built in a day! You just need to start moving in the right direction. So be brave. This is your life, so make the choices!
What else can I do?
See the comments below? Write one painful thing that you will feel if you DON’T start following your dreams today below in the comments. Don’t be shy! Come and share it with me.
Also please share with your friends if you think this Make It Happen Monday episode has been useful and of course have an amazing week, live life on purpose and Make It Happen.
Thanks for watching.